ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE.

One day there will be no more mask for her to wear.

One day her beliefs will be known.

One day she'll know her place in this life.

One day she will share herself.

ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE.

these are my lines before .. so grateful that this happened!

eternal love

nothing compares to a love of a mom to her kids. bearing a child in her womb is a matter of life and death.

she carries her baby for nine long months without worrying what she looks like.. without the fear of death..

labor pains.. ouch! i remembered the pains i felt during my delivery of justine.. it was exactly the same feeling when i had my labor with my first born, jeff. but it was fulfilling. it was not pleasant but yes.. it was fulfilling..

motherhood is not an obligation but a commitment..

a commitment for a lifetime..

it doesn't stop at giving birth..

a mother's love is eternal..

nurturing a child is one of a woman's worth.. a mom may experience the lowest point in her life but still.. in her mind.. in her soul.. is the welfare of her kids.. she may experience hurt but she will not mind it.. she keeps her hope.. faith.. that everything will be fine.. everything will be fine..

Artemis

i'm braver now..

i'm ready to fight for my right.. nobody can control my life and i will not allow it.. if i will.. i will be living in the dark again and i don't want it to happen..

28 years of living in a naive world i created.. crazy me!

it was just recently that i discovered that i'm truly independent emotionally.. but i will give credit to the people around me who are always there to guide and comfort me.. without them my life is total mess..

i'm fragile.. but because of them i became strong and doesn't easily break.. and because of them..

i will be a woman of strength forever..

loving life!

"look within.. are you satisfied with the life you're living?"

-Bob Marley

this qoute is one of the reasons or should i say.. made me decide to take the path that i'm currently taking.. i don't want to go back to those memories again and again.. but i don't want to erase it.. for those memories were part of me.. it made the whole me.. it helped me become the woman i am seeing in me..

taking a deeper look within me.. i can say that i'm satisfied, never been this happy before.. some may say that i'm still wearing a mask and i should reveal my true feelings.. but the hell i care.. this is the true me.. no masks at all..

sometimes, it's very hard to convince people that you're really ok.. because they don't believe it.. and i hate it when they gave me special attention.. as if i am helpless.. i'm not used to getting those kind of attention because i'm a giver.. not much of a taker.. i don't want that people will pity me.. because i am a survivor and i always will..

loving life! yes.. i'm loving the life i'm in.. it may not be perfect.. but i'm perfectly happy with it.. i know that man will never gain satisfaction, but at this very moment.. i have achieved satisfaction, i'm pretty sure that this will change.. just like a wild beast.. i will always survive..

haunted

i'm free.. yes.. but still flashes of memories are still haunting me.. i'm happy.. yes.. but still there's a scar that's left within me.. a scar from my past.. there are no more pains.. but it's so deep that it turned me into a different being..

fears..

fear of being hurt again.. fear of betrayal..

i need to regain TRUST.. for i want to be complete again..

being a hero.. it's absurd!

each of us encountered difficult moments in our lives.. some people suffered from poverty, some suffered from abuse, some claimed that they're victims of love..this used to be my claim.. a victim of love..but when we come to think of all the things that happened.. it's all because we let it happened to us.. so who is there to blame? of course it's not him and not her.. it's you... and it's only you..

one of the realizations that i learned was life is what we make it.. it is only you who can shape your future.. your destiny.. that fairy tale does not exists.. those stories are product of man's imagination..

also, if we love someone.. we should not give it our all.. it's not bad to be selfish at times.. think of yourself first before others...think of all the consequences of your actions.. will it benefit you? will it benefit your partner? or will it benefit only one person? giving your all is a suicide.. ask yourself first.. if i cannot give him/her this much for now.. is he/she willing to accept me? or you have started to give it your all.. what if you realize at a later time that it's not healthy? will it do good to the both of you? so when will you stop? if you're drowning and can't hardly breath and if your near to death?

acceptance and understanding..these are very important in a long lasting relationship.. but this should not be one-sided.. otherwise..

lay your cards.. don't pretend to be something who you are not..

being a hero.. it's absurd!

after the storm..

after the storm.. here comes the sun..

the pains in the core of my soul was no longer felt..

i accepted the universe and it was great!

rare love

my love is rare.. it is unconditional.. i seldom set my eyes on someone..

even if it's killing me.. i have to let go..

fear

i am fearless. that's what i thought until i saw an email trail way back in july. it consisted all the heartaches and pains of my closest friends including me.. when i read that email again.. mixed emotions was felt.. 'twas funny.. sad.. but the saddest thing that i learned was, i realized that fear lies within me.. fear of being hurt again.. i realized that my experience made me into someone i don't know.. i can't imagine myself being with someone again.. i gained my life back, but there's something that was taken away from me.. TRUST.. it's so hard to trust someone again.. i'm not sure if i will ever get it back.. time can only tell..